12/7/2023 0 Comments I dont like my moods![]() ![]() It is important to know that miscarriages very rarely happen because of something you did or didn’t do. You might question all the things you’ve done over the last few weeks and wonder whether there was something you did that caused your baby’s brief life to end. You might feel terrible guilt that you are responsible in some way for your baby not being born. The idea that a baby in your care, inside you, could stop growing can be very difficult to face. You may feel like you’ve failed as a mother. It didn’t feel real.” Marta Failure and guilt I’d never even heard of a missed miscarriage. I hadn’t had any indication there was anything wrong. The next we were being ushered to a different unit in the hospital to discuss how to have our baby removed. “One minute we were sitting happy and excited in the waiting room, ready to see our baby for the first time. This is not how anyone expects or hopes their pregnancy to end. Whatever your experience of miscarriage, it’s completely understandable to be in shock. Some women don’t even have any symptoms and sadly only discover the loss when they attend a routine antenatal appointment for an ultrasound scan (a missed miscarriage). Miscarriage can come as a huge shock to some couples and it is natural to need time to make sense of what has happened. “I am a mother of three – the unusual bit is that our three are not with us…I'd had hope and dreams for all my little ones, I'd loved them fiercely and wanted to protect them.” Sarah's story. ![]() You may need some time to mourn your baby and all the hopes and dreams you had for them. Many women start imaging their baby’s future from the moment they knew they were pregnant. No matter how many people say, ‘it wasn’t really a baby yet’, you may feel in your heart that it was a baby the moment you conceived and no-one can take that away. It doesn’t matter how far along you were, nothing should stop you from grieving for the baby you made. They may feel it’s unjustified because they never met their baby. Some women and couples don’t feel comfortable with this grief. You may not have been able to meet or hold your baby but that doesn’t mean your grief is any less real. Our midwives are also trained in bereavement support. You can also talk to a Tommy’s midwife free of charge from 9am–5pm, Monday to Friday on 0800 0147 800 or email them at. ![]() Your GP will be able to help you access the support you need. There is support available if you’re finding it difficult to cope with your feelings. You may find it reassuring to read about other women’s experiences. Some of the women who have shared their stories with us have talked about emotions such as grief, guilt, emptiness, fear and loneliness. We’ve spoken to thousands of women about how they felt after a miscarriage. Your partner may share many of your emotions, or none of them. ![]()
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